I am supposed to write this or I’ll get in trouble. So I have really bad eye sight, like really bad. Like I can’t see what’s on the board in class. I have glasses…or HAD glasses. This is my story and I’m sticking to it. When my dad randomly stopped the car, my glasses flew forward and the one of the little thing that go on your ears broke. (Editorial note: Nobody is buying that story.) When I got home, I knew I’d be in trouble, and taping them didn’t work, so I decided I’d fix it with superglue.
Never use superglue on glasses. I got it everywhere except where it was needed. In fact, I ended up gluing one of the lenses to the desk. Then, I had to rip it off the desk. It took a lot of force so I put one foot on the wall and pulled the deformed thing that used to be glasses off the desk. I got them off, but there was a giant chunk of desk glued onto the lens. This actually just made it worse, because now I had to get that chunk off. So I took a knife and started trying to scrape it off.
Well I got the wood off but now there was a splotch of super glue on my glasses. I tried putting them in the sink and pouring a ton of nail removal stuff (cause that gets super glue off your hands) but that just stung my fingers. Now I have half a pair of glasses. I kept them in this condition secretly for about two or three weeks. I would have gotten away with it, if we hadn’t gone to see the Hunger Games (awesome movie btw). Because while waiting in line, my Dad asked to see my glasses, since I don’t have them a lot, and I hesitated which resulted in them finding the horrid remains of my 500 dollar glasses.
After the movie, I was taken to the mall to get contacts by Mom, because Dad said that he went last time and he wasn’t spending 500 dollars again and he washed his hands of this nonsense. Mom got mad at me for walking far behind her. Now ask any kid, they would have done what I did. No one wants to be seen at the mall with their mom on a Saturday, so I told her that. That got her mad and she was upset the whole time now.
(Editorial note: Two and a half hours Saturday at the mall. The eye exam took half an hour. The rest of the time me and the nicest optometrist lady gently encouraged and begged her to actually get the contact lens into her eyes and then to get them out.
PS. This post appears in its entirety and was not edited in any way except for the insertion of editorial notes and persistent misspelling of a lot as alot.)
March 27, 2012